After giving birth to my daughter Jayda one of the hardest things I had to do was leave my princess behind and Return to work.  From the time I saw two red lines staring at me dead in the face screaming out positive I was attached. Who am I kidding it took 6 red lines because I took three pregnancy test.

positive

And to activate that attachment a week later I figure three wasn’t accurate enough to get my hopes up, so I took a total of six pregnancy Test (I’ll explain why in my future post). Where ever I go she go, she had no choice, and gave me no choice, it didn’t matter if I had to take a dump, I couldn’t excuse myself from Jay Jay. We was attached like white on rice, and built a bond that will last a life time and the one after that.

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So when the day came to return I turned that day into a whole week and when the week was over I added a couple more days to it, and man did they come an go. Nonetheless, the time came and I had to suck it up, after all these bills weren’t going to take care of themselves, beside, I have a little girl now to take care of.

I remember debating and trying to find an excuse not to leave her, but I told myself in order to provide for her right now I must go to work, and that it’s the best decision right now, because were not financially stable, so the more money coming in the better! If i was a stay at home mom now, daddy will go broke with our daily expenses. Jayda don’t know it yet but she has expensive taste just like her mommy!

I’m not going to lie I did get a little teary. Here I was with my first child, new to this whole mom thing and I was telling myself no one can take care of my baby better then I. I was questioning my mom skills after raising four kids practically on her own, I questioned if my baby will know I’m her mother breaking the bond so soon.  I knew baby girl was in good hands, and my mom and sister love her dearly but it wasn’t about that!

I never thought I say this but I wanted to be a stay home mom. With work being so slow that day I was all in my feelings having a moment! How I wished I had enough saved up to take a year off from work, spend time with my baby and still be able to afford nice things after paying bills. It would have been a movie my daughter and I! I told myself that same day I’m going to have it all together before we make plans to add to the family. And after Jayda brother or sister is born I’m going to be a stay at home mom!

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Not sure if the Aries in me will allow it but for the sake of my children “I can do this” I told myself. And just as quick as that thought popped in my head it wasn’t long before I started to think of the negative side of being a stay at home mom. How long before I retire, or quit and just be that mom or wife who go to work and still have time for her family? What’s the point of wasting all this cash to attend college to make a career out of something I enjoy, only to say “ef all that ish! I gotta baby now” (doing my little dance and singing) “oh yea oh yea stay at home mom oh yea, no school or work, oh yea oh yea just me an baby oh yea”…

O.K. I got a little distracted enough with the dance, lets continue shall we? But on a serious note, what are you going to tell your kids when they reached a certain age? When all they see you doing is buying groceries, shopping  (well let’s not add shopping because I can shop all day and they better not question that before all they toys and clothes get left behind at the mall hmm!) cooking and cleaning, washing clothes, taking them out an etc. To them that’s nonsense I mean kids watch their father leave,  and just before he leave he kisses his son or daughter good bye and you know they’re going to interrogated him.

“Where you going daddy”  I’ll answer that.. eh ehm…“Well baby, daddy have to go to work”…  “but why you have to go work daddy?”  eh ehm “Well princess, daddy have to make money to buy food for you to eat, buy new clothes shoes and toys”

They won’t really care about your work any longer after you mention toys but you get my drift. They know their father is going to work ,and when they start school they know their teacher is working, point blank it don’t take long for a child to realize what work is! Forget about all you’re doing for them and how your job as a mom will never end, daddy may work a nine to five but this is a 24 hour shift, I don’t get paid over time for!

So what happens when your child don’t want to go to school and wants to stay home with you? What happens when they are asked what you want to be when you grow up and the first thing they say is I want be a stay at home mom like mommy. I don’t know I thought about all these thing and I ask myself maybe my future husband can be a stay at home dad instead because I don’t think I’ll last but then again I will look at him some type of way which is why you barely hear people use the term stay at home dad… seriously dude get to working!

Although I can’t afford to be a stay at home mom right now, I must say if I could I would definitely take a year off to be with my baby.  I’ll get work sick considering I’m a workaholic but I know for sure the time spend with my daughter is way more precious and a lot more work. Besides when I return to work I’ll only wish to go back home to be with my baby!

If you have the luxury to be a stay at home mom, then I’m truly happy for you and I encourage it! Enjoy your time with the babies, because they grow up so fast! For my second youngster I’m hoping to share that in common with you were ever you are.  However it will be temporary, don’t see the point when they are old enough to attend school.

Though I’ll be a mom forever, stay at home mom is a temporary job title.  My children’s will soon be a teenager and an adult with a life of their own. I will make and spend as much time as possible with my baby and be a mom, but I will continue to be me as well, our children’s are the future and our mothers was saying the same thing when they gave birth to us, therefore I will not live exclusively for my child. Family time will always be there, family vacations and all. and in the end I will continue to have a life and pursue my dreams because life doesn’t stop after you have a child!

Enjoy your happy moms!

JJC3

 

Questions for stay at home mom

  1. What do you enjoy most being a stay at home mom
  2. Are you still a stay at home mom while the kids are in school, why or why not?
  3. What advice can you give to first time moms who want to be a stay at home mom?
  4. why do you want to be a stay at home mom?